Escape 2 Africa

Today marks the end of our Day Camp.  The theme this year was "Escape 2 Africa".  Kids had a wonderful time playing in the pool, running through obstacle courses, sliding down the giant water slide, - simply being kids.  For so many of these kids (as young as they are) life is full of difficulties, pain, abuse, neglect, despair.  For many of them that was the only day when they could get out of their homes, and be carefree.

In the chapel we talked about hopeless lives and how Jesus is the only One who can give us hope.  My heart is broken for some of the stories I heard from the children as they came up for prayer at the end... and yet I know that Jesus is the One who can miraculously intervene in their situations.

I put together a quick slideshow/video from the 2 weeks of camp (in case you're interested to see what it looked like).  Hope you enjoy it.

Escape 2 Africa Video

More On Hospitality

I randomly came across this article on Shine from Yahoo!
It has some interesting ideas how to make your house guest more comfortable.

I Have A Dream

I am a dreamer...

I have so many desires in my heart - some obvious - some unspoken...

Things I want to witness...

things I want to accomplish...

things I want to become...

Lately I am realizing that in order to see some of those dreams come to pass I have to let go of some others.

Prioritizing dreams, hopes, desires is never easy.

I'm right in the midst of the process.

Praying, thinking, figuring it out, waiting... wishing someone just told me which dreams to lay down and which to keep...  but it's my life, my service, my dreams... so I need to know for myself...

What about you?  Are there any dreams in your life that you had to let go of in order to see other dreams come to pass?

So What's So Challenging?

Today is the last day of Courtney's Completing Him Summer Challenge.  And the question she is asking us today is,  "How did it change you and how did it change your marriage?"

There're so many things that I learned... simply because I focused on learning.

I learned that I need to let go of unspoken and unrealistic expectations.

I was reminded that I must love him without reservation.

I was humbled by the fact that the Lord always hears my prayers for my husband.

I pushed myself to affirm and admire my husband with my words even though it is still out of my comfort zone.

I learned that I cannot allow the problem to be solved be more important than my husband.

I was reminded that no matter how difficult it may seem - I must always follow my husband's lead (I learned a lot of lessons that week).

And as I allowed myself to be open to the Lord's correction - it became easier for me to respect him not for the things he does or does not do - but for the leader that he is in my life.

The main thing is that it helped me refocus from all the things I want my husband to be and do for me - and focus instead on what my role is, where I fit in our relationship, what I can do to make it better.

Awareness Award

Holly from Diamond Potential has graciously awarded us with her Awareness Award for talking about adoption on our blog

Thanks, Holly!

What better way to honor that award than list a few resources Bryan and I got introduced to during the adoption seminar we have attended.

Adopt US Kids

www.adoptuskids.org

Children's Home Society & Family Services

http://www.chsfs.org/

(with options for international adoption)

Also you will be able to see some adoption ads here and there on my blog - feel free to visit those.  

Some more info specifically for New York residents.

New York City's Foster/ Adoptive Parent Recruitment Hotline

1-212-676-WISH  (9474)

New York City Administration for Children's Services adoption website

www.nyc.gov/adopt

New York State Adoption Photolisting Album

www.ocfs.state.ny.us/adopt/

You Gotta Believe!

(adoption recruitment agency placing teens and pre-teens)

www.yougottabelieve.org  /  1-718-372-3003

New York Council on Adoptable Children (COAC) 

(adoption recruitment agency)

www.coac.org   /   1-212-475-0222

New York City Heart Gallery

(photo gallery of waiting children)

www.heartgallerynyc.org

Wednesday's Child

(contact Keema Davis at 1-212-676-9918 or find children online here or here)

Adoption Matching Conferences (certified adoptive parents)

Vanessa Gamble 1-212-676-7327

If you have not read my friend's adoption story - you can read it here - and I am hoping to get some more stories in soon.

What Is Really Important...

Yesterday (August 13th) would have been my grandparents' 59th wedding anniversary (my grandfather died 8 years ago a few short months after celebrating their 51st).

My grandmother never had a wedding dress... or much of a wedding really.  Things were tough in 1951 in after-war Soviet Union.  They registered their marriage, ate a simple dinner... Even though they were legally married, Grandma's dad still made his new son-in-law sleep on the couch...  They had nowhere to go when they returned back to the city where they used to live (they both previously lived in dorms).  Walking the streets of the city, looking for someone who would rent them out a room...

Life went on.  Kids were born.  Then - grandkids.

Even as they got older and got their own 2-bedroom apartment, they sacrificed for their kids.  Up until I was 11 my grandparents slept on the pull-out couch in the living room while the 2 bedrooms were occupied by my family (my parents, my brother and myself) and my uncle's family (my uncle and his wife).

Only in 1992 - after 41 years of marriage - their kids moved out and settled and my grandparents finally had their own place.

At times they disagreed, at times they argued... yet they were deeply in love.
At times they wished they had more... yet they were always generous with what they did have.

My husband and I have chosen the life of ministry.  That means we have to make certain adjustments, deal with a few inconveniences.  At times I look at my life and focus on the things I think our family needs...

... then I am reminded of my grandparents' sacrifice and love for each other.

All these things that I think I need are not that important.  So what if we have to sleep on the floor for a while?  So what if my house does not look like the cover of Better Homes and Gardens?  So what if we have to do our laundry at the laundromat?  Does that really define life?

What is really important in life is the love and the understanding, desire to sacrifice what's important to you for the benefit of another, openness, and forgiveness.

Today do not get caught up in what you don't have - focus on what's really important!

"Do not let what you do not have 

stop you from making a difference 

with what you do have."

Pastor Bill Wilson, Metro Ministries 

Giving Up All

"Son of man, behold, I take away from you the desire of your eyes with one stroke; yet you shall neither mourn nor weep, nor shall your tears run down." (Ezekiel 24:16)

Ezekiel's wife died because the Lord said so.  As we have chosen to give our lives to the Lord, our whole lives belong to Him.

Should the Lord require of me to do such a thing, I need to be willing to let go of the things and people in my life that I think I absolutely can't live without.  I need to stop holding on to the relationships I think I need and trust Him completely.  I need to love my husband fully and without reservation because we never know when he can be taken from me or I from him.



Am I there yet?  I wish I could say a resounding "Yes!"...  but I have a long way to go.


Is there anything in your life that you're holding on to so tight that you'd be unwilling to give it up?

Back At Ya

Here's a quick update on our life:

we're doing good

really :)

How's that for an update?

Now how about some audience participation here?

Ask me a question in the comment section.  Anything you would like me to answer or write about... or any suggestions and ideas... or feedback.  I am trying to figure out what this blog means to you... and me... and Jesus.

Let Him Kiss Me With The Kisses Of His Mouth

"Let him kiss me with the kisses of his mouth."
(Song of Solomon 1:2)

I hear keys in the door.


Down gets slammed the laptop... and I rush into the hallway... for a kiss ;)


Our schedules are crazy and often I am not home when Bryan comes back from work.  But I have resolved that whenever I am - I will run to him and kiss him at the door telling him how glad I am that he is finally home.


That little resolve has done a lot for our marriage.


Passion...  often semi-forgotten in the shuffle of life and familiarity of living with someone for some time now... restrained to a well-defined time of the day and area of the house...


This is often how marriages fall apart.  And you and I both know that a falling apart marriage does not always have to end in divorce - sometimes just co-existence.


Our husbands long to be longed for.  It boosts their self-esteem like no dinner or washed floor ever will.  When they see that we desire them, long for them - they can conquer the world.


So if you're married today - make your husband a priority - and kiss him like you mean it!!!


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On a side note: we are starting day camp today.  Will you please lift it up in prayer as hundreds of children will come for a day of fun and an opportunity to accept Jesus.  The main focus of our chapel time is HOPE.  Often they find ourselves in seemingly hopeless situations - and we need them to know that when that happens they need to seek God instead of losing hope.

I Wonder What Happens If...

"Your fame went out among the nations because of your beauty, for it was perfect through My splendor which I had bestowed on you", says the Lord God.  (Ezekiel 16:14)

God is speaking to the nation of Israel.  Israel's fame and "beauty" among nations came about because of God's splendor upon them.

I believe America has become a great country because it was built on Christian principles by people who honored God and sought to worship Him freely.  The Lord blessed this country because of the obedience of many who came before us.

I wonder what happens if our nation turns away (as it is already doing)...

Guest Post: A Beautiful Word

Adoption.

This to me is a beautiful word.

It encompasses so much.

I am sure for some it has a negative connotation, but I can't help loving it and wanting to talk about it as much as possible.

I will start with a bit of background...

My name is Deanna and I live in Lancaster, Pennsylvania. I am married to Sean, the most incredible man ever (I am sure many say so about their husbands, but it's definitely true in my life).

We have two delightful daughters.  Liza is 12 (13 in a few short weeks, sigh) and Elina just turned 11.

Our family

Sean and I knew that we would adopt even before we were married.  We planned on having lots of babies and then plan to adopt.  God decided to change that a bit.

We were married in 1996 and had a miscarriage the following year.  We were devastated.  Ever since I was a little girl if you asked me what I wanted to be when I grew up, I would tell you that I wanted to be a mom.  My dreams were dashed!  Little did I knew that God's dreams are bigger than mine.

I was scared to death to try for another baby, so I worked and Sean worked... and we pushed the thought of babies to the back of our mind.

In 2001 I traveled to Belarus without Sean for 2 weeks to work in a camp for Orphans.  This is when I fell in love with Eastern Europe and Orphan Ministry

It changed my life.  This was my first time away from Sean since we were married.  I was expecting to count the days until I was home again and be extremely home sick.  However, when I arrived in Belarus I felt like I was home.  I loved everything about it, but it was the children who stole my heart!  I went back home and Sean was a little surprised that I wasn't super excited to be home.  In fact I was home sick for Belarus.  I couldn't get back into my daily life.  I felt like I left a part of me there and Sean couldn't understand it.

The month I came home from Belarus I found out I was pregnant only to miscarry again at 14 weeks.  We were again devastated and felt like our dream of children wasn't going to happen.  The first time we lost a baby I wanted Sean to be my savior.  I clung to him and wouldn't let him leave my side.  I didn't cry out to God, I cried out to Sean.

This time was different.  I allowed God to be my Savior!  I felt like He was with me through it all.  On bed rest in pain shouldn't be peaceful, but I knew a peace that I couldn't explain.  It was during this time that I wondered if we should begin the adoption process.  Maybe God had plans for our family to come about in a different way.

Sean and I decided to go to Belarus together in 2002 and again in 2003.  We loved it.  We became different people.  We looked at life differently!  We knew that our life would have to involve orphan ministry, and what better ministry than having a little person leave the life of orphanages and come home with us!!!

Liza

In 2004 we didn't travel to Belarus for summer camp.  We heard from some local people that there was a group of orphans coming from Moscow to spend a few weeks in our area.  The goal was to bring Special Needs Orphans (5 years and older makes them special needs) to visit with families, return home to Moscow and maybe be adopted by these host families.

We couldn't wait to begin the paperwork to make this happen.  We did a mini home study, criminal checks, and a basic questionnaire about what type of child we were looking for.

We chose a girl and let the agency do the rest.  We waited and waited for the information.  If you adopt - you realize waiting in the name of the game.  Our agency called and asked if we would be open to a sibling group.  Hello?  I would have been happy with 5 children.  So we found out that the little girl we were getting was 7 years old and had a little sister who was 5.  Only the older child could come because they needed to be 6 years old to travel.

Needless to say, Liza came into our lives for 3 weeks in August of 2004 and we loved her instantly.  Love at first sight really does exist.  She called us Mama and Papa instantly.  It wasn't a perfect three weeks.  We all had to adjust and she wasn't used to having men around so her and Sean didn't click right away, but we knew she belonged with us...!

After the three weeks finished we contacted our agency and told them we wanted to pursue adoption.  This sent us to a whole other pile of paperwork.  So much paperwork, but so worth it.  We had interviews, home studies, and classes to get through.

Elina

So Liza came in August and we traveled to Moscow in April the following year.  We were able to visit with Liza and meet Elina.  It was wonderful.  Liza was still very shy with Sean, but Elina welcomed him with open arms.  I was so thankful.  We stayed with friends in Moscow and was surprised that the courts let the girls stay with us.  After 8 days we traveled back to America so Sean could work during our 10day mandatory wait for the girls.  If anything I learned a lot about waiting and even more about patience during this time.  It must be what birth parents feel like those last few days of waiting to meet your child.

So after what seemed like forever, we traveled back to bring our girls home!

We came home April 20th 2005.  This is our official 'Gotcha Day!'  We always do something fun to celebrate.

Girls with Grandma & Grandpa

Not many people told me what to expect those first few months.  I cried a lot.  The girls cried a lot.  I would lay in bed at night and tell Sean, " I think we've ruined our lives."  Truthfully, it was a horrible first 6 months.  The girls were with me all day, everyday.  I don't feel like I had anything in my life that could have prepared me for this.

And yet...slowly - things got better.  I remember the exact moments I knew that these were my children.  Forever.  And I loved them!  I loved being their mom.  Sean was an amazing and patient dad.  It took over 8 months for Liza to really trust enough to stay with him without me.  He was the image of God.  No matter how hard we try - He isn't going to leave us.

In 2007 we traveled back to Ukraine for a month to see how the girls would do being 'back.'  They had forgotten all of their Russian within 6 months so it was interesting to see them immersed in it again.  We knew that God was calling us overseas and we didn't want to rush things with them.  They loved Ukraine.  They were sad to leave.  We loved the life of ministry.  We went back in 2008 for 3 months and began home schooling.  This was a great option for us....being together all day has helped attachment more than anything else that I can think of.
So - here we are in 2010 - praying about doing it all over again.  Adoption!  Love it!  Not sure what it will look like this time..domestic/foreign/foster?  Only God knows!

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Deanna is a

 Wife to Sean (love him more everyday!), 

mama to Liza (sounds like Leeza) (13) and Elina (sounds like Eleena) (11), 

teacher in our home school,

vegetarian,

lover of 'real food,'

reader of anything and everything,

dreamer,

non-profit junkie,

daughter of the Most High,

coffee drinker,

city loving,

and more...

She blogs at The Story of Us.

Uncontained Joy

I know "uncontained" is not technically a word - but that's how excited I am about tomorrow's post.  My wonderful friend Deanna has agreed to share her adoption story with us.  It is my prayer (and I believe Deanna's as well) that you will be blessed and encouraged - even challenged - by reading it.

Don't Break His Heart

"I was crushed by their adulterous heart which has departed from Me" (Ezekiel 6:9)

I had my heart broken before.  By someone I loved dearly.  It was devastating.

When I turn my eyes to things other than the Lord and my relationship with God - I do the same to Him.

Read To Yourself

My phone starts singing Hamster Dance.
It is 5.15am.

I have committed myself to waking up daily between 5.15 and 5.30am to make sure I get uninterrupted time with my Savior.

My Bible is open.
It is 5.35am.

I read.  I say a quick prayer as I get more and more comfortable on the couch.
Wait!  What was that I was reading about?

I go back to the Bible and re-read the passage.
The words get blurrier as my eyes get heavier.

Ever been there?
Ever made a sacrifice in your effort to get closer to God - and then it's still not what you had hoped for...

This is what I do now.  I read OUT LOUD.  Not in a manner that would wake anyone up - in a gentle steady lowered voice.  I read to myself.  I read the Word of God AND I hear the Word of God.  And that helps me.

Oh No! The "R" Word Again...

I grew up in a household where everything had to be earned. Bringing home an "A" was not enough - I had to stay at the top of the class. Being second was simply not acceptable.

I am grateful for that because I developed a spirit of excellence where nothing but my very best would be enough. That carried me through many times and brought success to my career.

I am used to earning things. Earning a position, earning honor, earning respect. And I feel like everyone else should earn theirs fairly.

That means - when I got married - I expected my husband to earn the respect due to him. Whenever I felt like he was making the right decision - I would respect him. Whenever I disagreed - I didn't.

Respect can mean so many things but I loved the definition I found on Wikipedia, "Respect denotes both a positive feeling of esteem for a person or other entity (such as a nation or a religion), and also specific actions and conduct representative of that esteem." It's not just a feeling - it has to translate into how I treat my husband.

Courtney's challenge this week was to respect our husbands. It did not seem difficult at first. She said, "R-E-S-P-E-C-T! No complaining, criticizing, rolling your eyes, nagging, or giving him any friction this week. Enjoy a week of peace in your home!"

Whew, done, over. That was easy! Ha ha - anything is easy for a week - the real challenge is to keep it going for a lifetime.

Let me share another thing I read. "Respect should not be confused with tolerance, since tolerance doesn't necessarily imply any positive feeling, and is not incompatible with contempt, which is the opposite of respect." (this is again taken from Wikipedia)

The Bible commands all wives, "let the wife see that she respects her husband" (Ephesians 5:33). King James Version uses the word, "reverence". The word used in Greek is 'phobeo' where we get the word phobia from meaning fear (in later transcripts 'phobeomai'). The Bible is telling us to be in awe of our husbands, to fear them exceedingly (not as in being scared of them but as holding their opinion in such high regard similar to our understanding of 'fearing God').

In modern day culture women often tend to take the lead in their families (and they grow weary fighting battles that are not theirs to fight). Women feel like their husbands do not step up to the plate - and consequently lose the respect due them by the order of the Word of God.

We must be careful to lay aside every thought and understanding of marriage that is instilled in us by our culture, or by the family we grew up in - and dig deeply into the Word of God to find out what He wants. Amazing things will happen!

Your husband should not have to earn your respect

just as you would not want him

to make you earn his love.

(Courtney from Women Living Well)

Back To Reality

After spending a wonderful time away to celebrate our anniversary, we are back in New York.

Back to the noise.

Back to the crowds.

Back to the offensive advertising.

We did not miss that. Still, I know we live in New York not because it's so enjoyable and glamorous. We have a purpose. It is my prayer today that we will not lose track of it.

Do You Hear Their Silence?

As I walk the streets of the city, I am often reminded of the overwhelming need around me. Looking through all the cardboard signs and listening to the beggars on the train may be exhausting and create the repulsive syndrome that I have named "Excessive Exposure" (not a very scientific term but it works for me).

and yet - think on this with me - the more I observe the more I notice those who do not walk

from a subway car to a subway car shaking their cup at me, or wait for me to come out from a coffee shop to ask for spare change... I see those who are... SILENT.

They don't impose their suffering on you. They don't ask you for help because they consider themselves beyond help. They sit quietly... and suffer... in SILENCE.

I want to challenge you today to keep your eyes open for those who need you but won't ask for your help: a coworker who needs to hear a word of encouragement, a homeless person who needs a smile more than a dollar, an aging parent who needs a phone call, a misbehaving child who only needs to be listened to - anyone... anywhere.

Open your eyes to see their suffering. Open your ears to hear their silence.

What will you do today to brighten up someone's day?

One Way

I read this quote recently:

"All of our major institutions are hostile to orthodox Christianity. Our culture is relativistic and pluralistic and consequently hostile to anyone who is an absolutist and particularist... Devise some means - a poster, a letter to the editor, a speech to a social club - of proclaiming basic, essential Christian moral or religious teaching, and then wait for the response. For example, declare today that monogamous heterosexual marriage is the only legitimate outlet for sexual expression... Or declare today that Jesus is the only truth and only Savior of the world and imply by doing so that all other religions are false and misleading. Can you predict the response? You will be scorned. The only sin our civilization universally recognizes is that of intolerance, defined as not believing that all beliefs and lifestyle practices are equally valid. Say that there is one way or one truth and you have committed the worst 'sin' that you can commit today. Yet this is precisely what each Christian must believe, proclaim, and defend. Consequently, persecution will inevitably follow. You will be ridiculed. You will be socially ostracized. You will feel the pressure to conform to the fashions of the day. You may be denied a promotion. You may lose your job. We've seen it happen. You may be rejected by your family. Ask any recent convert from Judaism or Islam about that."

(from "When Grace Transforms" by Terry L. Johnson)

What are your thoughts on that?

Metro Overview

Just wanted to share with you this short clip with the overview of the ministry we're with in NYC.

Asking For Directions

"If we ask it directions, it could ingest us and spit out our bones."

(Marlin from Finding Nemo)

I don't know about you - but whenever we get lost driving somewhere it takes me no longer than five minutes of aimless driving to say, "Honey, why don't we just stop and ask someone for directions?". As women we often make men the subjects of many jokes about their gender-specific resolve to simply figure everything out by themselves.

Sadly if we take our jokes outside of the contest of driving – women are often the ones who fail to ask for directions. Directions from our husbands as to where we are going with our lives, our families, our children, our jobs, our future.

Instead we are subtly manipulating our husbands to make the decisions that we consider the best at the time.

I have only been married for two years yesterday and I am still learning to take directions from my husband. My biggest battle - which I believe many strong Christian women are dealing with today - was "What if the leading will never happen?" What if when I do ask my husband for a plan, he just stares blankly and says something in the lines of, "I do not know, why don’t we decide what’s for dinner first".

Through the mistakes made earlier in my own marriage as well as the observation of many other couples, I have learned six valuable lessons on following your husband's lead.

Lesson 1: Do NOT take it upon yourself! One very important lesson to learn is that the moment you take the initiative and take upon yourself the job of leading your family – you may never be able to give it up and your husband may never step up to the plate.

Lesson 2: Pray. Pray lots. Pray often. You can never underestimate the power of prayer or the work of the Holy Spirit in the life of your beloved.

Lesson 3: Submit. You may give your input but whenever your husband does finally make a decision about your life – you need to submit to his guidance.

Lesson 4: Praise him. It is important to affirm your husband when he makes a right choice. That will boost his confidence and encourage him to lead you more.

Lesson 5: Give him room to fail. At times your husband may make a faulty decision. You must give him room for error and forgive.

Lesson 6: Have faith. Have faith in your husband's abilities to lead your family (even if a faulty decision had been made earlier). Believe in your husband. He knows whether you genuinely think he can do it or if you're just expecting him to fall flat on his face. But what's even more important is that you have faith in your God. Whatever the circumstances were that united your husband and you with the bond of marriage - you are married now. And that is a sacred thing in the eyes of our Lord. Have faith in God and trust Him to carry your family through any challenges if you follow His principles of submission.

Do you struggle with any of these? I sure do. What will you do to help your husband lead you today?

Two Years

It's been two years since our wedding day.

Two years - filled to the brim - with love, respect, and friendship

with many experiences - some good, some bad

all lived through together

Two years... Looking forward to many more...

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Photos taken by our dear friend Lauren - if you live in Houston TX area and would like to schedule a photo session - feel free to send her a private facebook message.

In God We Trust...

... or do we?

Forgotten Art

In this age of technology and social networking pen and paper are becoming obsolete. Computers make connecting with people easier and faster.

And yet...

... do you agree there is a difference between getting an email from a distant friend or a card in the mail?

A Home For A Child

"I will not leave you as orphans; I will come to you."

- Jesus (in John 14:18)

I believe that the pure and undefiled religion is to look after widows and orphans in their distress.

Pure religion and undefiled before God and the Father is this,

To visit the fatherless and widows in their affliction,

and to keep himself unspotted from the world.

(James 1:27 KJV)

For years - since I had first started in ministry - it has been on my heart to encourage people to adopt, foster care or get involved in orphanage ministry. My heart beats for those who are without a parent in their lives.

I am asking my friends to share their adoption stories. I will feature them here on my blog and also I am setting up a new blog dedicated specifically to the orphans and those ministering to them: A Home For A Child. No posts there yet - but coming very-very soon.

If you have adopted a child and would like your story featured on my blog - please please leave a comment with your email address and I will contact you. If you have a ministry to the orphans - let me know and I would like to feature you as well.

A Problem To Be Solved

“Never let a problem to be solved

become more important than

the person to be loved.”

- Barbara Johnson

Today is Week 5 of Courtney's Completing Him Summer Challenge and we're talking about prioritizing.

My mom has always been my example in homemaking. She has managed to fully run our home while holding a full-time job. She always made home-cooked meals. Our house was always clean. And as a new wife I had expected to face the same obligations. My hectic ministry schedule put a lot of pressure on me to have everything under control. I was stressed and despite all my effort it did not look like my husband was impressed by my efforts. Thus I learned early in our marriage life that things that I consider important are not so crucial to my dear husband. And I am trying to be careful to be mindful of them.

This week's challenge reminded me of my early marriage days: Make a list of 5 things you currently do and ask your husband to prioritize them for you of what is important to him.

I have opted to go a different route. Instead of making a list for him, I have simply given him a blank sheet of paper and a pen. After agonizing over it for 2 days (who would've thought it would take that long) he gave me back the result.

I was shocked.

Only one of the things on the list had something to do with homemaking - and that was dinner (hey the way to a man's heart truly does lie through his stomach). The other four had nothing to do with the requirements, chores, or obligations. They can all be summed up into one phrase: SHARE LIFE.

As we were discussing his list, Bryan looked at me and smiled. "Helen," he said, "all I want you to understand is that I am more important than anything you're doing for me".

That made perfect sense.

It does not matter how clean my living room is if it comes at a cost of being happy to see him come home. It does not matter how neat everything is put away when the smile on my face is missing. It does not matter how hard I try to manage his life if in the process I forget the very person I am doing it for.

I want to encourage you with the opening quote for my post. We cannot allow the problems we're trying to solve to become more important than the people we love and do them for.

On a side note - this applies to ministry life as well. How often do we allow ourselves to become so consumed with the ministry activities that we do that we are no longer enjoying it? We are no longer serving out of the overflow of our hearts. We are so consumed with the preparations, and schedules, and programs that we run ourselves into the ground - not even finding half an hour to spend with the Lord.

If you're getting frustrated with your marriage or your ministry - maybe it is the time to look at what you do and who you're doing it for and reset your priorities.

What is important to the one you love?

Through Jason's Eyes

This video is a reflection of the four months spent at Metro Ministries here in New York. It was done by Jason - an intern from Texas - who was assigned to our team.

Jason's Internship Portfolio from Jason Higley on Vimeo.

Jason has also described some of his experiences in more details on his blog - http://jasonhigley.tumblr.com/

Stolen Prayers

I often get distracted when I pray. As a full-time children minister I have mastered many spiritual disciplines... but prayer is still difficult for me. Maybe I never learned how to pray growing up in a non-Christian household. Maybe I've been trying to hide my prayer life for so long that I am forgetting what it's like to spend a long time in an intimate conversation with my Savior.

My prayers have always been quick, almost stolen breaths.

I look up in the shower and talk to Him about my day.

I exhale as I go into my office with a quick request for help.

I steal a breath mid-conversation to ask Him for wisdom.

But I want more. I want to learn to wait patiently until He speaks. I want to go past my list of requests into a deep communion. I want my heart to connect with His.

I read this honest blog post on prayer - and I wanted to share it with you. It has some good tips on how to fight distraction during prayer time.

And if you have found something else that works for you - hop over to comments and let's talk.

Power of Encouragement

"See to it, brothers, that none of you has a sinful, unbelieving heart that turns away from the living God. But encourage one another daily, as long as it is called Today, so that none of you may be hardened by sin's deceitfulness". (Hebrews 3:12-13)

I don't know about you, my friends, but I need to be very careful with my heart. At times when God seems silent, when the proverbial storms shake my proverbial boat, when things in life do not go as I wish... my heart may waver.

The passage says to encourage one another daily. It is so important to surround yourself with a people of like faith, of like passion who will always be on guard for your heart.

Here are the few things that I am doing.

1) Find friends you can share about your quiet time with. It can be your friend, or a mentor - anyone who understands the importance of accountability. Something that I am doing right now is Good Morning Girls group (for explanation of what it is click here). Good Morning Girls group has allowed me to daily touch base with several women on pursuit of God even amidst our hectic schedules. We share our struggles, pray for each other, and keep each other accountable on spending time with the Lord.

2) Be open. While not everything is meant to be shared, we often cover up our sinful attitudes rather than confess them and work through them to freedom. Have someone in your life you can be open with. For me - that someone is my husband... and as embarrassing as it may be for me to admit certain things to him - I am always glad I do.

3) Stay in the Word. Support system is extremely important and yet there may be times when you do not have the support you desire. You must read your Bible regularly to know what God is like and thus to build up your faith. Choose the pace of reading you're comfortable with and stick to it.

4) Encourage those around you. One of the greatest feelings in the world is to "make someone's day". Find someone today who you can encourage.

Thankful

The great things in my life:

AMAZING husband

loving family

wonderful in-laws

faithful friend

people I can invest my life in

my ministry

What My Mom Taught Me About Marriage

Today is my parents' 31st wedding anniversary.

I have learned a lot of things from my mother about marriage without her trying to teach me.

FAITHFULLNESS - she stood by my father's side always: through the heights of his teaching and writing career and through the valley of his terrible sickness - truly through the good times and the bad.

TENACITY - it took a lot of determination to keep our family through the critical changes in history (fall of the USSR, change of the government and all social structure), and through the critical changes of our family (getting our own apartment and sudden progression of Dad's illness).

RESPECT - I watched my mom live with her in-laws in the same small 2-bedroom apartment for 13 years (ok, so I only remember maybe the last six as I was 11 when we moved) and I never remember her arguing with them over anything. She was always quiet and respectful of their opinions.

FRUGALITY - oh how I wish I were smarter to learn more. My mom never wasted a penny. She knows all the prices for everything all over the city and she would go to great lengths to but things cheaper, to build smart yet delicious meals around what's on sale.

DILIGENCE - she never stopped. Our house was always clean, laundry always done, homework always checked, food always prepared. And all that on top of her full-time job.

And - most importantly - LOVE and SELF-SACRIFICE. Her whole life is dedicated to our family and all her choices are made for our benefit (at least within her understanding of what's best for us).

As I look back I remember times when in my anger I would resolve to never become like my mother. And now - how I wish I had learned more while I was still under her roof.

Sorry For The Cheese :)

"Admire = to have a high opinion of; esteem or respect."

OK, so if you know me at all - you have to know this about me:

On a level of 1 to 10 my skillfullness in Words of Affirmation is...

Negative Seventeen [deep sigh]

Yes, it's true. I am not good telling people what I appreciate about them. Ironically, I am married to the man whose main proverbial love language is [drum roll please]... yes, indeed - Words of Affirmation... [even deeper helpless sigh].

It's not that I do not love him or do not notice the little (and big) things that he does for me... it's just that I feel weird and awkward... even insane... saying it. And knowing that he needs me to say it - still does not help.

Last Thanksgiving I wrote him a list of all the things that he does that I am thankful for. Here is that list:

- you love me and take care of me

- you pray for me and with me

- you are always there when I really need you

- you bring me Starbucks

- you’re never too proud to say “I’m sorry”

- you want to spend the rest of your life with me

- you open the doors for me

- you carry heavy things

- you make Thanksgiving turkeys

- you are quick to make peace

- you love me even when I have bad attitude

- you come on Sidewalk with me

- you always assure me that I am beautiful

- you always make sure I have water on my nightstand

There’re so many reasons… even as I pasted this list into this post I could think of few others…

But I think the most important one would be -

YOU MAKE ME BETTER!!!

You encourage me to see the best in people.

You set an example by forgiving those who hurt us.

You reach out to others even when I feel that they've used up their chances.

You are compassionate, gentle, loving, and kind.

You stand up for what is right.

You are moved by injustice and suffering.

I LOVE YOU!!!

Let the wife make the husband glad to come home,

and let him make her sorry to see him leave.

(Martin Luther)

Trip to Dave and Buster's

This past Tuesday, June 29th, was the first official day of summer break for the kids here in New York. We celebrated it by taking the kids who won the attendance contest to Dave and Buster's in Times Square.

Here are my funny winners.


We had a nice meal - oh boy! these kids can eat!

We played games to our hearts' content

And of course we finished our day off with a nice ice-cream treat

Good times!!!

Thank you so much to everyone who sent us money to make this amazing adventure possible!

Speechless... (Unexpected Follow Up Post to He Has Not Turned Away My Prayer)

I am humbled today. Speechless.

I know that God answers prayers. I do. I am a children pastor, after all.

I know that when you pray God can move mountains and obstacles. I've seen it (even in my own life before).

I know that there is absolutely NOTHING impossible for God. I believe it.

But today... My praise and gratitude get stuck in my throat. I am overwhelmed. I have nothing to say. I am amazed. Grateful. Slightly embarrassed. Surprised. Speechless.

On Monday Courtney from Women Living Well encouraged us to ask our husbands how we can pray for them and do so daily. I did ask (see my post here) and I did pray.

I prayed for God to give my husband wisdom to make the right choices - and I have already noticed how he was becoming more decisive when I needed him to be. I prayed for promotion (we were hoping in September) but already this Friday Bryan received a phone call from his supervisor about setting up his promotion interview within the next few weeks.

I am ...

... grateful ...