Tuesday, August 5, 2014

More Talking - Less Updating

When I first deactivated my Facebook account - I breathed a sigh of relief. I was excited about all the great things I was making room in my life for.  

Yet, if you are anything like me - you know how fast the initial excitement wears off.  Not even two days after pulling the plug I found myself wondering about something and feeling at a loss without my usual go-to "ask the Facebook world" function.

It's been maybe a week when I was driving down the road from work thinking of all the many fun things that happened that day.  My initial thought was I should just share it on Facebook.  When I realized that I had cut that option off I felt at a loss once again.  It felt weird calling or emailing someone just to tell them a funny story.  It felt strange not to get the likes and responses to something that I knew a Facebook world would appreciate.  

That short moment in my car made me realize how little genuine human interaction we're having these days.  We are programmed by the society to be "How are you doing? - Fine. What about yourself? - Doing ok." kind of a person.  We ask a question but are we really expecting to hear a genuine answer?  Do we really want to know what the other person is dealing with?  Would we be compelled to help?  Are we afraid that we might not know what to say?  And what about sharing your story?  What would the other person think of us if we tell them what's going on?  Will they judge us?  Will they look down on us?  Will the conversation make them feel awkward?

Posting things on Facebook about our lives is much easier and safer than speaking it out loud.  When Facebook got taken out of my life I could see just exactly who really cared to know what was going on in my life.  It was quite an adjustment going from almost a thousand "friends" to just a handful (what a popularity drop!) - yet the interactions I am experiencing right now are much more fulfilling.  There is so much power in asking the person how they are doing... and waiting for an answer :)

I am learning to talk.
I am learning to ask open questions.
I am learning to formulate intelligent answers.
I am learning to connect.
I am learning to laugh together.
I am learning to offer help.
I am learning to rejoice with others.
I am learning to be there for others.

And this has been so much more rewarding than getting hundreds of likes on Facebook.  And so my resolve has strengthened.

So guess what?  When I was in the car that day driving down the road and wishing I could share my day with someone... I prayed and thanked God for all the great things that happened that day... I sent a text message to my husband... I called my grandma... and it all was well.  

Sharing a status update is not the same as sharing life.  Just saying :)

* I am not suggesting everyone should deactivate Facebook.  I am simply sharing my personal experience of making room for things in my life that really matter to me.  I believe everyone should take a hard look at their life and clean it out of time wasters so there's more room for things that matter.  If you have done so - I would love to know about your journey.
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