Monday, July 26, 2010

Asking For Directions

"If we ask it directions, it could ingest us and spit out our bones."
(Marlin from Finding Nemo)

I don't know about you - but whenever we get lost driving somewhere it takes me no longer than five minutes of aimless driving to say, "Honey, why don't we just stop and ask someone for directions?". As women we often make men the subjects of many jokes about their gender-specific resolve to simply figure everything out by themselves.

Sadly if we take our jokes outside of the contest of driving – women are often the ones who fail to ask for directions. Directions from our husbands as to where we are going with our lives, our families, our children, our jobs, our future.

Instead we are subtly manipulating our husbands to make the decisions that we consider the best at the time.

I have only been married for two years yesterday and I am still learning to take directions from my husband. My biggest battle - which I believe many strong Christian women are dealing with today - was "What if the leading will never happen?" What if when I do ask my husband for a plan, he just stares blankly and says something in the lines of, "I do not know, why don’t we decide what’s for dinner first".

Through the mistakes made earlier in my own marriage as well as the observation of many other couples, I have learned six valuable lessons on following your husband's lead.

Lesson 1: Do NOT take it upon yourself! One very important lesson to learn is that the moment you take the initiative and take upon yourself the job of leading your family – you may never be able to give it up and your husband may never step up to the plate.

Lesson 2: Pray. Pray lots. Pray often. You can never underestimate the power of prayer or the work of the Holy Spirit in the life of your beloved.

Lesson 3: Submit. You may give your input but whenever your husband does finally make a decision about your life – you need to submit to his guidance.

Lesson 4: Praise him. It is important to affirm your husband when he makes a right choice. That will boost his confidence and encourage him to lead you more.

Lesson 5: Give him room to fail. At times your husband may make a faulty decision. You must give him room for error and forgive.

Lesson 6: Have faith. Have faith in your husband's abilities to lead your family (even if a faulty decision had been made earlier). Believe in your husband. He knows whether you genuinely think he can do it or if you're just expecting him to fall flat on his face. But what's even more important is that you have faith in your God. Whatever the circumstances were that united your husband and you with the bond of marriage - you are married now. And that is a sacred thing in the eyes of our Lord. Have faith in God and trust Him to carry your family through any challenges if you follow His principles of submission.

Do you struggle with any of these? I sure do. What will you do to help your husband lead you today?


Brittany said...

I love your lesson about giving your husband room to fail! It's so difficult when his decision seems SO wrong at the time.

Blessings on your marriage!

Brittany @ The High-Heeled Housewife

Tanie said...

Great tips Helen...
It's funny how we, woman, can just take the lead grrrr

joyfulwifeandmama said...

I enjoyed reading your post, Helen- very encouraging! These are great reminders for us women to take to heart.

God bless you, as you seek to honor Him!

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