Guest Post: A Beautiful Word

Adoption.

This to me is a beautiful word.

It encompasses so much.

I am sure for some it has a negative connotation, but I can't help loving it and wanting to talk about it as much as possible.

I will start with a bit of background...

My name is Deanna and I live in Lancaster, Pennsylvania. I am married to Sean, the most incredible man ever (I am sure many say so about their husbands, but it's definitely true in my life).

We have two delightful daughters.  Liza is 12 (13 in a few short weeks, sigh) and Elina just turned 11.

Our family

Sean and I knew that we would adopt even before we were married.  We planned on having lots of babies and then plan to adopt.  God decided to change that a bit.

We were married in 1996 and had a miscarriage the following year.  We were devastated.  Ever since I was a little girl if you asked me what I wanted to be when I grew up, I would tell you that I wanted to be a mom.  My dreams were dashed!  Little did I knew that God's dreams are bigger than mine.

I was scared to death to try for another baby, so I worked and Sean worked... and we pushed the thought of babies to the back of our mind.

In 2001 I traveled to Belarus without Sean for 2 weeks to work in a camp for Orphans.  This is when I fell in love with Eastern Europe and Orphan Ministry

It changed my life.  This was my first time away from Sean since we were married.  I was expecting to count the days until I was home again and be extremely home sick.  However, when I arrived in Belarus I felt like I was home.  I loved everything about it, but it was the children who stole my heart!  I went back home and Sean was a little surprised that I wasn't super excited to be home.  In fact I was home sick for Belarus.  I couldn't get back into my daily life.  I felt like I left a part of me there and Sean couldn't understand it.

The month I came home from Belarus I found out I was pregnant only to miscarry again at 14 weeks.  We were again devastated and felt like our dream of children wasn't going to happen.  The first time we lost a baby I wanted Sean to be my savior.  I clung to him and wouldn't let him leave my side.  I didn't cry out to God, I cried out to Sean.

This time was different.  I allowed God to be my Savior!  I felt like He was with me through it all.  On bed rest in pain shouldn't be peaceful, but I knew a peace that I couldn't explain.  It was during this time that I wondered if we should begin the adoption process.  Maybe God had plans for our family to come about in a different way.

Sean and I decided to go to Belarus together in 2002 and again in 2003.  We loved it.  We became different people.  We looked at life differently!  We knew that our life would have to involve orphan ministry, and what better ministry than having a little person leave the life of orphanages and come home with us!!!

Liza

In 2004 we didn't travel to Belarus for summer camp.  We heard from some local people that there was a group of orphans coming from Moscow to spend a few weeks in our area.  The goal was to bring Special Needs Orphans (5 years and older makes them special needs) to visit with families, return home to Moscow and maybe be adopted by these host families.

We couldn't wait to begin the paperwork to make this happen.  We did a mini home study, criminal checks, and a basic questionnaire about what type of child we were looking for.

We chose a girl and let the agency do the rest.  We waited and waited for the information.  If you adopt - you realize waiting in the name of the game.  Our agency called and asked if we would be open to a sibling group.  Hello?  I would have been happy with 5 children.  So we found out that the little girl we were getting was 7 years old and had a little sister who was 5.  Only the older child could come because they needed to be 6 years old to travel.

Needless to say, Liza came into our lives for 3 weeks in August of 2004 and we loved her instantly.  Love at first sight really does exist.  She called us Mama and Papa instantly.  It wasn't a perfect three weeks.  We all had to adjust and she wasn't used to having men around so her and Sean didn't click right away, but we knew she belonged with us...!

After the three weeks finished we contacted our agency and told them we wanted to pursue adoption.  This sent us to a whole other pile of paperwork.  So much paperwork, but so worth it.  We had interviews, home studies, and classes to get through.

Elina

So Liza came in August and we traveled to Moscow in April the following year.  We were able to visit with Liza and meet Elina.  It was wonderful.  Liza was still very shy with Sean, but Elina welcomed him with open arms.  I was so thankful.  We stayed with friends in Moscow and was surprised that the courts let the girls stay with us.  After 8 days we traveled back to America so Sean could work during our 10day mandatory wait for the girls.  If anything I learned a lot about waiting and even more about patience during this time.  It must be what birth parents feel like those last few days of waiting to meet your child.

So after what seemed like forever, we traveled back to bring our girls home!

We came home April 20th 2005.  This is our official 'Gotcha Day!'  We always do something fun to celebrate.

Girls with Grandma & Grandpa

Not many people told me what to expect those first few months.  I cried a lot.  The girls cried a lot.  I would lay in bed at night and tell Sean, " I think we've ruined our lives."  Truthfully, it was a horrible first 6 months.  The girls were with me all day, everyday.  I don't feel like I had anything in my life that could have prepared me for this.

And yet...slowly - things got better.  I remember the exact moments I knew that these were my children.  Forever.  And I loved them!  I loved being their mom.  Sean was an amazing and patient dad.  It took over 8 months for Liza to really trust enough to stay with him without me.  He was the image of God.  No matter how hard we try - He isn't going to leave us.

In 2007 we traveled back to Ukraine for a month to see how the girls would do being 'back.'  They had forgotten all of their Russian within 6 months so it was interesting to see them immersed in it again.  We knew that God was calling us overseas and we didn't want to rush things with them.  They loved Ukraine.  They were sad to leave.  We loved the life of ministry.  We went back in 2008 for 3 months and began home schooling.  This was a great option for us....being together all day has helped attachment more than anything else that I can think of.
So - here we are in 2010 - praying about doing it all over again.  Adoption!  Love it!  Not sure what it will look like this time..domestic/foreign/foster?  Only God knows!

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Deanna is a

 Wife to Sean (love him more everyday!), 

mama to Liza (sounds like Leeza) (13) and Elina (sounds like Eleena) (11), 

teacher in our home school,

vegetarian,

lover of 'real food,'

reader of anything and everything,

dreamer,

non-profit junkie,

daughter of the Most High,

coffee drinker,

city loving,

and more...

She blogs at The Story of Us.

Uncontained Joy

I know "uncontained" is not technically a word - but that's how excited I am about tomorrow's post.  My wonderful friend Deanna has agreed to share her adoption story with us.  It is my prayer (and I believe Deanna's as well) that you will be blessed and encouraged - even challenged - by reading it.

Don't Break His Heart

"I was crushed by their adulterous heart which has departed from Me" (Ezekiel 6:9)

I had my heart broken before.  By someone I loved dearly.  It was devastating.

When I turn my eyes to things other than the Lord and my relationship with God - I do the same to Him.

Read To Yourself

My phone starts singing Hamster Dance.
It is 5.15am.

I have committed myself to waking up daily between 5.15 and 5.30am to make sure I get uninterrupted time with my Savior.

My Bible is open.
It is 5.35am.

I read.  I say a quick prayer as I get more and more comfortable on the couch.
Wait!  What was that I was reading about?

I go back to the Bible and re-read the passage.
The words get blurrier as my eyes get heavier.

Ever been there?
Ever made a sacrifice in your effort to get closer to God - and then it's still not what you had hoped for...

This is what I do now.  I read OUT LOUD.  Not in a manner that would wake anyone up - in a gentle steady lowered voice.  I read to myself.  I read the Word of God AND I hear the Word of God.  And that helps me.

Oh No! The "R" Word Again...

I grew up in a household where everything had to be earned. Bringing home an "A" was not enough - I had to stay at the top of the class. Being second was simply not acceptable.

I am grateful for that because I developed a spirit of excellence where nothing but my very best would be enough. That carried me through many times and brought success to my career.

I am used to earning things. Earning a position, earning honor, earning respect. And I feel like everyone else should earn theirs fairly.

That means - when I got married - I expected my husband to earn the respect due to him. Whenever I felt like he was making the right decision - I would respect him. Whenever I disagreed - I didn't.

Respect can mean so many things but I loved the definition I found on Wikipedia, "Respect denotes both a positive feeling of esteem for a person or other entity (such as a nation or a religion), and also specific actions and conduct representative of that esteem." It's not just a feeling - it has to translate into how I treat my husband.

Courtney's challenge this week was to respect our husbands. It did not seem difficult at first. She said, "R-E-S-P-E-C-T! No complaining, criticizing, rolling your eyes, nagging, or giving him any friction this week. Enjoy a week of peace in your home!"

Whew, done, over. That was easy! Ha ha - anything is easy for a week - the real challenge is to keep it going for a lifetime.

Let me share another thing I read. "Respect should not be confused with tolerance, since tolerance doesn't necessarily imply any positive feeling, and is not incompatible with contempt, which is the opposite of respect." (this is again taken from Wikipedia)

The Bible commands all wives, "let the wife see that she respects her husband" (Ephesians 5:33). King James Version uses the word, "reverence". The word used in Greek is 'phobeo' where we get the word phobia from meaning fear (in later transcripts 'phobeomai'). The Bible is telling us to be in awe of our husbands, to fear them exceedingly (not as in being scared of them but as holding their opinion in such high regard similar to our understanding of 'fearing God').

In modern day culture women often tend to take the lead in their families (and they grow weary fighting battles that are not theirs to fight). Women feel like their husbands do not step up to the plate - and consequently lose the respect due them by the order of the Word of God.

We must be careful to lay aside every thought and understanding of marriage that is instilled in us by our culture, or by the family we grew up in - and dig deeply into the Word of God to find out what He wants. Amazing things will happen!

Your husband should not have to earn your respect

just as you would not want him

to make you earn his love.

(Courtney from Women Living Well)

Back To Reality

After spending a wonderful time away to celebrate our anniversary, we are back in New York.

Back to the noise.

Back to the crowds.

Back to the offensive advertising.

We did not miss that. Still, I know we live in New York not because it's so enjoyable and glamorous. We have a purpose. It is my prayer today that we will not lose track of it.

Do You Hear Their Silence?

As I walk the streets of the city, I am often reminded of the overwhelming need around me. Looking through all the cardboard signs and listening to the beggars on the train may be exhausting and create the repulsive syndrome that I have named "Excessive Exposure" (not a very scientific term but it works for me).

and yet - think on this with me - the more I observe the more I notice those who do not walk

from a subway car to a subway car shaking their cup at me, or wait for me to come out from a coffee shop to ask for spare change... I see those who are... SILENT.

They don't impose their suffering on you. They don't ask you for help because they consider themselves beyond help. They sit quietly... and suffer... in SILENCE.

I want to challenge you today to keep your eyes open for those who need you but won't ask for your help: a coworker who needs to hear a word of encouragement, a homeless person who needs a smile more than a dollar, an aging parent who needs a phone call, a misbehaving child who only needs to be listened to - anyone... anywhere.

Open your eyes to see their suffering. Open your ears to hear their silence.

What will you do today to brighten up someone's day?

One Way

I read this quote recently:

"All of our major institutions are hostile to orthodox Christianity. Our culture is relativistic and pluralistic and consequently hostile to anyone who is an absolutist and particularist... Devise some means - a poster, a letter to the editor, a speech to a social club - of proclaiming basic, essential Christian moral or religious teaching, and then wait for the response. For example, declare today that monogamous heterosexual marriage is the only legitimate outlet for sexual expression... Or declare today that Jesus is the only truth and only Savior of the world and imply by doing so that all other religions are false and misleading. Can you predict the response? You will be scorned. The only sin our civilization universally recognizes is that of intolerance, defined as not believing that all beliefs and lifestyle practices are equally valid. Say that there is one way or one truth and you have committed the worst 'sin' that you can commit today. Yet this is precisely what each Christian must believe, proclaim, and defend. Consequently, persecution will inevitably follow. You will be ridiculed. You will be socially ostracized. You will feel the pressure to conform to the fashions of the day. You may be denied a promotion. You may lose your job. We've seen it happen. You may be rejected by your family. Ask any recent convert from Judaism or Islam about that."

(from "When Grace Transforms" by Terry L. Johnson)

What are your thoughts on that?

Metro Overview

Just wanted to share with you this short clip with the overview of the ministry we're with in NYC.

Asking For Directions

"If we ask it directions, it could ingest us and spit out our bones."

(Marlin from Finding Nemo)

I don't know about you - but whenever we get lost driving somewhere it takes me no longer than five minutes of aimless driving to say, "Honey, why don't we just stop and ask someone for directions?". As women we often make men the subjects of many jokes about their gender-specific resolve to simply figure everything out by themselves.

Sadly if we take our jokes outside of the contest of driving – women are often the ones who fail to ask for directions. Directions from our husbands as to where we are going with our lives, our families, our children, our jobs, our future.

Instead we are subtly manipulating our husbands to make the decisions that we consider the best at the time.

I have only been married for two years yesterday and I am still learning to take directions from my husband. My biggest battle - which I believe many strong Christian women are dealing with today - was "What if the leading will never happen?" What if when I do ask my husband for a plan, he just stares blankly and says something in the lines of, "I do not know, why don’t we decide what’s for dinner first".

Through the mistakes made earlier in my own marriage as well as the observation of many other couples, I have learned six valuable lessons on following your husband's lead.

Lesson 1: Do NOT take it upon yourself! One very important lesson to learn is that the moment you take the initiative and take upon yourself the job of leading your family – you may never be able to give it up and your husband may never step up to the plate.

Lesson 2: Pray. Pray lots. Pray often. You can never underestimate the power of prayer or the work of the Holy Spirit in the life of your beloved.

Lesson 3: Submit. You may give your input but whenever your husband does finally make a decision about your life – you need to submit to his guidance.

Lesson 4: Praise him. It is important to affirm your husband when he makes a right choice. That will boost his confidence and encourage him to lead you more.

Lesson 5: Give him room to fail. At times your husband may make a faulty decision. You must give him room for error and forgive.

Lesson 6: Have faith. Have faith in your husband's abilities to lead your family (even if a faulty decision had been made earlier). Believe in your husband. He knows whether you genuinely think he can do it or if you're just expecting him to fall flat on his face. But what's even more important is that you have faith in your God. Whatever the circumstances were that united your husband and you with the bond of marriage - you are married now. And that is a sacred thing in the eyes of our Lord. Have faith in God and trust Him to carry your family through any challenges if you follow His principles of submission.

Do you struggle with any of these? I sure do. What will you do to help your husband lead you today?

Two Years

It's been two years since our wedding day.

Two years - filled to the brim - with love, respect, and friendship

with many experiences - some good, some bad

all lived through together

Two years... Looking forward to many more...

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Photos taken by our dear friend Lauren - if you live in Houston TX area and would like to schedule a photo session - feel free to send her a private facebook message.

In God We Trust...

... or do we?

Forgotten Art

In this age of technology and social networking pen and paper are becoming obsolete. Computers make connecting with people easier and faster.

And yet...

... do you agree there is a difference between getting an email from a distant friend or a card in the mail?

A Home For A Child

"I will not leave you as orphans; I will come to you."

- Jesus (in John 14:18)

I believe that the pure and undefiled religion is to look after widows and orphans in their distress.

Pure religion and undefiled before God and the Father is this,

To visit the fatherless and widows in their affliction,

and to keep himself unspotted from the world.

(James 1:27 KJV)

For years - since I had first started in ministry - it has been on my heart to encourage people to adopt, foster care or get involved in orphanage ministry. My heart beats for those who are without a parent in their lives.

I am asking my friends to share their adoption stories. I will feature them here on my blog and also I am setting up a new blog dedicated specifically to the orphans and those ministering to them: A Home For A Child. No posts there yet - but coming very-very soon.

If you have adopted a child and would like your story featured on my blog - please please leave a comment with your email address and I will contact you. If you have a ministry to the orphans - let me know and I would like to feature you as well.

A Problem To Be Solved

“Never let a problem to be solved

become more important than

the person to be loved.”

- Barbara Johnson

Today is Week 5 of Courtney's Completing Him Summer Challenge and we're talking about prioritizing.

My mom has always been my example in homemaking. She has managed to fully run our home while holding a full-time job. She always made home-cooked meals. Our house was always clean. And as a new wife I had expected to face the same obligations. My hectic ministry schedule put a lot of pressure on me to have everything under control. I was stressed and despite all my effort it did not look like my husband was impressed by my efforts. Thus I learned early in our marriage life that things that I consider important are not so crucial to my dear husband. And I am trying to be careful to be mindful of them.

This week's challenge reminded me of my early marriage days: Make a list of 5 things you currently do and ask your husband to prioritize them for you of what is important to him.

I have opted to go a different route. Instead of making a list for him, I have simply given him a blank sheet of paper and a pen. After agonizing over it for 2 days (who would've thought it would take that long) he gave me back the result.

I was shocked.

Only one of the things on the list had something to do with homemaking - and that was dinner (hey the way to a man's heart truly does lie through his stomach). The other four had nothing to do with the requirements, chores, or obligations. They can all be summed up into one phrase: SHARE LIFE.

As we were discussing his list, Bryan looked at me and smiled. "Helen," he said, "all I want you to understand is that I am more important than anything you're doing for me".

That made perfect sense.

It does not matter how clean my living room is if it comes at a cost of being happy to see him come home. It does not matter how neat everything is put away when the smile on my face is missing. It does not matter how hard I try to manage his life if in the process I forget the very person I am doing it for.

I want to encourage you with the opening quote for my post. We cannot allow the problems we're trying to solve to become more important than the people we love and do them for.

On a side note - this applies to ministry life as well. How often do we allow ourselves to become so consumed with the ministry activities that we do that we are no longer enjoying it? We are no longer serving out of the overflow of our hearts. We are so consumed with the preparations, and schedules, and programs that we run ourselves into the ground - not even finding half an hour to spend with the Lord.

If you're getting frustrated with your marriage or your ministry - maybe it is the time to look at what you do and who you're doing it for and reset your priorities.

What is important to the one you love?

Through Jason's Eyes

This video is a reflection of the four months spent at Metro Ministries here in New York. It was done by Jason - an intern from Texas - who was assigned to our team.

Jason's Internship Portfolio from Jason Higley on Vimeo.

Jason has also described some of his experiences in more details on his blog - http://jasonhigley.tumblr.com/

Stolen Prayers

I often get distracted when I pray. As a full-time children minister I have mastered many spiritual disciplines... but prayer is still difficult for me. Maybe I never learned how to pray growing up in a non-Christian household. Maybe I've been trying to hide my prayer life for so long that I am forgetting what it's like to spend a long time in an intimate conversation with my Savior.

My prayers have always been quick, almost stolen breaths.

I look up in the shower and talk to Him about my day.

I exhale as I go into my office with a quick request for help.

I steal a breath mid-conversation to ask Him for wisdom.

But I want more. I want to learn to wait patiently until He speaks. I want to go past my list of requests into a deep communion. I want my heart to connect with His.

I read this honest blog post on prayer - and I wanted to share it with you. It has some good tips on how to fight distraction during prayer time.

And if you have found something else that works for you - hop over to comments and let's talk.

Power of Encouragement

"See to it, brothers, that none of you has a sinful, unbelieving heart that turns away from the living God. But encourage one another daily, as long as it is called Today, so that none of you may be hardened by sin's deceitfulness". (Hebrews 3:12-13)

I don't know about you, my friends, but I need to be very careful with my heart. At times when God seems silent, when the proverbial storms shake my proverbial boat, when things in life do not go as I wish... my heart may waver.

The passage says to encourage one another daily. It is so important to surround yourself with a people of like faith, of like passion who will always be on guard for your heart.

Here are the few things that I am doing.

1) Find friends you can share about your quiet time with. It can be your friend, or a mentor - anyone who understands the importance of accountability. Something that I am doing right now is Good Morning Girls group (for explanation of what it is click here). Good Morning Girls group has allowed me to daily touch base with several women on pursuit of God even amidst our hectic schedules. We share our struggles, pray for each other, and keep each other accountable on spending time with the Lord.

2) Be open. While not everything is meant to be shared, we often cover up our sinful attitudes rather than confess them and work through them to freedom. Have someone in your life you can be open with. For me - that someone is my husband... and as embarrassing as it may be for me to admit certain things to him - I am always glad I do.

3) Stay in the Word. Support system is extremely important and yet there may be times when you do not have the support you desire. You must read your Bible regularly to know what God is like and thus to build up your faith. Choose the pace of reading you're comfortable with and stick to it.

4) Encourage those around you. One of the greatest feelings in the world is to "make someone's day". Find someone today who you can encourage.

Thankful

The great things in my life:

AMAZING husband

loving family

wonderful in-laws

faithful friend

people I can invest my life in

my ministry

What My Mom Taught Me About Marriage

Today is my parents' 31st wedding anniversary.

I have learned a lot of things from my mother about marriage without her trying to teach me.

FAITHFULLNESS - she stood by my father's side always: through the heights of his teaching and writing career and through the valley of his terrible sickness - truly through the good times and the bad.

TENACITY - it took a lot of determination to keep our family through the critical changes in history (fall of the USSR, change of the government and all social structure), and through the critical changes of our family (getting our own apartment and sudden progression of Dad's illness).

RESPECT - I watched my mom live with her in-laws in the same small 2-bedroom apartment for 13 years (ok, so I only remember maybe the last six as I was 11 when we moved) and I never remember her arguing with them over anything. She was always quiet and respectful of their opinions.

FRUGALITY - oh how I wish I were smarter to learn more. My mom never wasted a penny. She knows all the prices for everything all over the city and she would go to great lengths to but things cheaper, to build smart yet delicious meals around what's on sale.

DILIGENCE - she never stopped. Our house was always clean, laundry always done, homework always checked, food always prepared. And all that on top of her full-time job.

And - most importantly - LOVE and SELF-SACRIFICE. Her whole life is dedicated to our family and all her choices are made for our benefit (at least within her understanding of what's best for us).

As I look back I remember times when in my anger I would resolve to never become like my mother. And now - how I wish I had learned more while I was still under her roof.

Sorry For The Cheese :)

"Admire = to have a high opinion of; esteem or respect."

OK, so if you know me at all - you have to know this about me:

On a level of 1 to 10 my skillfullness in Words of Affirmation is...

Negative Seventeen [deep sigh]

Yes, it's true. I am not good telling people what I appreciate about them. Ironically, I am married to the man whose main proverbial love language is [drum roll please]... yes, indeed - Words of Affirmation... [even deeper helpless sigh].

It's not that I do not love him or do not notice the little (and big) things that he does for me... it's just that I feel weird and awkward... even insane... saying it. And knowing that he needs me to say it - still does not help.

Last Thanksgiving I wrote him a list of all the things that he does that I am thankful for. Here is that list:

- you love me and take care of me

- you pray for me and with me

- you are always there when I really need you

- you bring me Starbucks

- you’re never too proud to say “I’m sorry”

- you want to spend the rest of your life with me

- you open the doors for me

- you carry heavy things

- you make Thanksgiving turkeys

- you are quick to make peace

- you love me even when I have bad attitude

- you come on Sidewalk with me

- you always assure me that I am beautiful

- you always make sure I have water on my nightstand

There’re so many reasons… even as I pasted this list into this post I could think of few others…

But I think the most important one would be -

YOU MAKE ME BETTER!!!

You encourage me to see the best in people.

You set an example by forgiving those who hurt us.

You reach out to others even when I feel that they've used up their chances.

You are compassionate, gentle, loving, and kind.

You stand up for what is right.

You are moved by injustice and suffering.

I LOVE YOU!!!

Let the wife make the husband glad to come home,

and let him make her sorry to see him leave.

(Martin Luther)

Trip to Dave and Buster's

This past Tuesday, June 29th, was the first official day of summer break for the kids here in New York. We celebrated it by taking the kids who won the attendance contest to Dave and Buster's in Times Square.

Here are my funny winners.


We had a nice meal - oh boy! these kids can eat!

We played games to our hearts' content

And of course we finished our day off with a nice ice-cream treat

Good times!!!

Thank you so much to everyone who sent us money to make this amazing adventure possible!

Speechless... (Unexpected Follow Up Post to He Has Not Turned Away My Prayer)

I am humbled today. Speechless.

I know that God answers prayers. I do. I am a children pastor, after all.

I know that when you pray God can move mountains and obstacles. I've seen it (even in my own life before).

I know that there is absolutely NOTHING impossible for God. I believe it.

But today... My praise and gratitude get stuck in my throat. I am overwhelmed. I have nothing to say. I am amazed. Grateful. Slightly embarrassed. Surprised. Speechless.

On Monday Courtney from Women Living Well encouraged us to ask our husbands how we can pray for them and do so daily. I did ask (see my post here) and I did pray.

I prayed for God to give my husband wisdom to make the right choices - and I have already noticed how he was becoming more decisive when I needed him to be. I prayed for promotion (we were hoping in September) but already this Friday Bryan received a phone call from his supervisor about setting up his promotion interview within the next few weeks.

I am ...

... grateful ...

I Know Who I Am - A Look At Two Countries

I had a nostalgic moment a few days ago.

I was thirsty and did not feel like drinking a 15th cup of water or like 7th cup of iced green tea (yes, it was HOT in New York). So for the first time in 8 years living in American abundance I went to the fridge, took out some raspberry jam and mixed a tablespoon of it into my cold water. Yumminess!

I have not realized that no one does that here when I noticed a confused look on Bryan's face. And posting it as a status on Facebook only confirmed that.

I was born and raised in Soviet Union. I have lived through the collapse of the biggest communist empire of the world. And in many ways my thinking, my approach to life is influenced by it.

When I moved to America, I went through a long time of wastefulness. I enjoyed abundance to the extreme. I loved the freedom I had to preach and I loved the many ice-cream flavors. I loved walking with my head high and I loved Chinatown shopping. I embraced everything America had to offer (within the Christian guidelines of course).

But today - as I look back at my 8 years in this wonderful country - despite all the assimilation I've gone through - I still mixed raspberry jam with water :)


I am grateful that I am from Belarus (Soviet Union) because:

- I love the values that had been instilled in me as a child (camaraderie, teamwork, friendship, hard work, excelling).

- I learned humility and submission, and perseverance.

- I went to an excellent school for free.

- I was part of one of the most significant moments in recent history.

- I witnessed the emptiness of human spirit without Christ on a nation-wide scale.


When I first came to the United States I was only 14 years old. When I returned, I told the Lord that I would do whatever He wanted me to do as long as I didn't have to live in America (and look at me now!). Needless to say, I had no desire of staying here when I came back to US 6 years later as an intern for Metro Ministries with Pastor Bill Wilson.

After having lived here all this time, I can see how America changed me.

I am grateful:

- for freedom to preach

- for the American dream in its best sense (believing that one can achieve anything in this country)

- for the opportunity to minister alongside people from literally all over the world this enriching my world view

- for my wonderful husband

- for God teaching me to look past the superficial and deep into a man's heart.

I remember the days of old;

I meditate on all Your works;

I muse on the work of Your hands.

(Psalm 143:5)

He Has Not Turned Away My Prayer

This is Week #3 of Courtney's Marriage Challenge (for the explanation of the challenge - read here) and this week's challenge is PRAY for your husband daily.

The title of my post "He Has Not Turned Away My Prayer" comes from Psalm 66:20. Isn't it wonderful to know that He will not turn a deaf ear when we cry out to Him! And before I receive criticism from those who seemingly received no answer to their prayers for healing, for restoration, for salvation of loved ones - I also had times when my heart was shattered by seemingly unanswered prayer (even recently) - but today I still say, I trust His wisdom more than mine. He knows what He's doing in my life.

I asked my wonderful husband last night how I can pray for him and he asked for 2 things only:

1) Wisdom to make the right choices for our family

2) Promotion

So these are the things I will commit myself to pray for daily.

Courtney has a very extensive list on her blog of things you can pray for when you're praying for your husband (taken from "The Power of a Praying Wife" by Stormie Omartian) as well as a suggestion of using your wedding band as a reminder to say a quick prayer for your husband.

As you read this post - would you please say a one sentence prayer for us as well as we seek to please our Lord with our lives and ministry.

Strong Finish

Ice cream trucks playing there annoying little songs, fire hydrants running freely and humidity that makes you feel like you're in a sauna; this combination can mean only one thing... It's summer time in New York City! Which also means Sidewalk Sunday School is drawing to a close. For our Sidewalk Sunday School final week we had a water gun raffle. The kids love to be drenched with streams of H2O expertly dispensed by highly trained Sidewalk Sunday School water gun professionals. They all look so proud when they too can drench their friends with their new water guns.

Helen and I were hoping for a big turnout for this week. After all, it is the last chance to give the kids, and their parents one last word from God before the summer. We were blessed to see 433 in attendance at our four sites on Friday with a total attendance of the week for our team of 1580.

We also announced the winners of our attendance contest. Kids who came regularly to Sunday School, filled in homework, memorized verses, brought friends and participated in various activities earned stickers on our contest board. 6 kids earned enough stickers to go with us to Dave and Buster's (a restaurant/video arcade). Additionally we are taking two of our workers in training on this outing. There were also 7 kids who came to Sunday School 12 out of 12 weeks. They received a certificate of achievement and a $5 Dunkin Donuts card.

Special trips like this are not usually paid for by the ministry so many of our friends have stepped up to help sponsor this trip. For that we are truly grateful. If you would like to help us do extra things for our kids like this please let us know. We will be posting plenty of pictures after the trip which will happen on 29th of June.

Love Without Reservation

Almost 2 years ago in July 2008 Bryan & I looked at each other and gave each other a promise to love each other as long as we both shall live.

Two years have passed... and even in those short two years we have had occasional moments when we felt like our marriage was not working right. But we gave each other a promise to to stay by each other through the good times AND the bad. Many young couples make a mistake thinking love is that strong irresistible passion, that uncontained drive to be with each other. But love is bigger than that. Love is what stays when all else fails.

Here's what I said to my husband on our wedding day:

I, Helen, take you, Bryan, to be my lawfully wedded husband, secure in the knowledge that you will be my constant friend, my faithful partner in life, and my one true love. On this special and holy day, I give to you in the presence of God and all these witnesses my pledge to stay by your side as your faithful wife in sickness and in health, in joy and in sorrow, as well as through the good times and the bad.

I promise to love you without reservation, comfort you in times of distress, encourage you to achieve all of your goals, laugh with you and cry with you, grow with you in mind and spirit, always be open and honest with you, and cherish you as long as we both shall live.

The one part that hit me (and is still a challenge for me) is "to love you without reservation". I am honestly convinced that I have worked my way through all others pretty well so far. But what does it really mean to love my husband without reservation?

That means getting off the computer when he comes home.

That means going places where he wants to go.

That means sitting on the couch with him at the end of the day.

That means NOT doing things that I consider important (looking forward to July 12th challenge)

Oh yes - and it does mean occasionally eating out at Dallas BBQ [sigh].

Our senior pastor and the founder of our ministry Pastor Bill Wilson always says, "Marriage is never 50/50. It should be 100/100". I give 100% and my husband gives 100%. That is what will make our marriage successfull.

Most importantly, for me to love my husband without reservation equaled to love him and cherish him with my 100% without expecting his 100% back.

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If you live in Portland, OR area - here's the web page of our wonderful photographer (who even came to New York for our wedding) - http://www.memorybookphotos.com/portlandphotographer/

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A few random articles:

Oldest African American Couple (as of February 2010) - married May 13, 1924

Submission In Marriage. What It Is and What It Isn't.

Dating Days

Today is the beginning of Courtney's Completing Him Summer Challenge.

The challenge today is to go back to our dating days and do something that would remind my husband of the "youthful wife I once was" (wow - I hope it won't be that hard granted we got married only 2 years ago - lol)

Our dating started slowly and progressed rapidly. Bryan and I met through our ministry (http://www.metroministries.org/) in 2004 in Summer Camp. I was on staff and Bryan has been coming for years to camp as a volunteer. I came over to the boys' side to relay a message... and I can't even remember what the deal was but I remember thinking, "How dare he talk to me like that?" I did not like that man.

Bryan came to our internship the year after in 2005 and stayed on staff. We were both in the same training to become team leaders for our Sidewalk Sunday School ministry. I think that was the time when we both started to let go of our judgmental and negative thoughts toward each other (oh yes, I later found out that our camp dislike was mutual). As we got to know each other better we gained more respect for each other. When we became leaders, our offices were next to each other and so... we talked once in a while.

In 2007 Bryan got transferred to another team and with the new team came the new assignment to our Preschool Class on Saturdays (guess who was in there?). We had lunch once and after a while they became a Saturday tradition. We both enjoyed those times. As that semester was coming to a close, both of us were getting ready to leave on extended vacations. Bryan was going to the Philippines and I was welcoming my mom for the first time into United States. We were going to be apart from each other for most of the summer. Bryan wanted to tell me how he felt about me and so Monday morning June 25th, 2007 we met for breakfast. I don't remember Bryan actually telling me that he liked me (I am sure he might have eluded to that at some point in the conversation) - so for me nothing was changing. We were good friends - that's all. For Bryan, however, that day became the day he fell in love with me and realized that he wanted to pursue me for marriage.

(the day Bryan fell in love with me - June 25th is now Red Polka Dot Day in our family)

We had breakfast and in a few days left for our vacations. As we spent long four weeks away from each other, I realized how attached I have become and how much I missed him.

We started dating in August.

(our first official dating photo - September 3rd, 2007)

For New Year's I flew to Arizona to meet Bryan's family.

(visiting Bryan's family in Arizona for the first time - Grand Canyon)

As I look back to our dating days, I am realizing how much we sought to please each other. Everything we did was geared towards serving and loving. We spent every available moment together.

We walked... a lot!

For our first Valentine's Day I made Bryan a nice breakfast (yes - these are heart-shaped pancakes on the picture) in the morning...

... and in the evening Bryan treated me to an exquisite meal.

We had a great time - and I loved dating him. He was the most wonderful person to be with.

As the reality of marriage settled in, I wondered what happened. I no longer had the butterflies. I blamed Bryan for many things that he could have been doing better. I was often frustrated and annoyed.

Until

I realized

This has NOTHING to do with my husband!!!

I was the one who had changed. It was no longer enough for me to simply hear, "I love you". It was no longer enough to keep getting flowers. I wanted more. I wanted him to pick up his socks off the floor and put them into the laundry hamper. I wanted him to make more money. I wanted him to be more responsible. I wanted him to read my mind and know exactly which mood I was in. I wanted him to want to do the dishes (mainly because I didn't). Somehow I held him to a much higher standard now in our marriage than I did during our dating days... when just being with him was enough.

So... What's Next??

My next step was letting go of unrealistic expectations and simply enjoying our marriage. It worked for me. I may still sometimes get frustrated - but I am sure he has as many reasons (if not more) to be frustrated with me. God did not call me to be right. God called me to serve and love. And this is what I am resolving to do.

We went to Central Park today and took "couple pictures" - just like when we first started dating. And then we walked to Times Square. Just walking and talking and simply enjoying each other.

Think today: Do you have unspoken or unrealistic expectations of your spouse?

Completing Him Summer Challenge

I am busy... so busy...

Sidewalk Sunday School semester leaves me drained by the end of the day. Oh don't get me wrong - it's a great drained, knowing that your busy hours and hectic schedule are making eternal difference by pointing people to our Savior.

And yet... It's easy to leave the very people who are most important to you out of the equation. It's easy to serve everyone else around you... but your husband.


This is why I have decided to participate in Courtney's Completing Him Summer Challenge. Hop on over to see what it's all about. And if you're married - let's do this together!

Excessive Exposure

I was confronted recently with the overwhelming need that this world is in. Within less than 2 months I have visited Belarus, and saw the pictures of my friends who went on a missions trip to India, and Cuba, and Haiti. The need all around me was so overwhelming. And then I paused... and I wondered why is it that I am... NOT OVERWHELMED. It hit me... hard... like a brick thrown from the top of the Empire State Building... Has my heart hardened? Do I no longer feel the pain of those who suffer? And if so - why and how and when did all of this happen?


After long time of soul searching I believe I found the answer. Excessive Exposure. If you are a Christian here in United States, you are most likely bomarded daily with the requests of prayer, support, encouragement for ministries here in US and all over the world. And somehow knowing that you're not able to help everyone makes it difficult for us to respond with a soft heart.


"Therefore circumcise the foreskin of your heart, and be stiff-necked no longer" (Deuteronomy 10:16)


⁶ “ Is this not the fast that I have chosen:
To loose the bonds of wickedness,
To undo the heavy burdens,
To let the oppressed go free,
And that you break every yoke?
⁷ Is it not to share your bread with the hungry,
And that you bring to your house the poor who are cast out;
When you see the naked, that you cover him,
And not hide yourself from your own flesh?
⁸ Then your light shall break forth like the morning,
Your healing shall spring forth speedily,
And your righteousness shall go before you;
The glory of the LORD shall be your rear guard.
⁹ Then you shall call, and the LORD will answer;
You shall cry, and He will say, ‘Here I am.’” (Isaiah 58:6-14)


We need to repent and ask God to break our hearts for the suffering of His people.
Church needs to rise up. We can no longer turn a deaf ear.

Raising Homemakers

Raising Homemakers has launched!!!

Raising Homemakers is a website that is "dedicated to inspiring, teaching and blessing mothers who have an interest in raising their daughter in godliness and preparing them in the arts of homemaking to the glory of God"

This is why...

Attendance Contest

This semester Bryan & I are doing something new on our Sidewalk Sunday School site. We are having attendance contest for the kids. We made a board with their names on it and every time they come they get a sticker. But not just that. They also get a sticker every time they learn a memory verse by heart or bring a friend who's never been to Sunday School before. We print out homework for them to take home that has activities from the lesson that we teach. Their goal is to collect as many stickers as they possibly can. At the end of this semester of Sunday School we will be taking the kids with most stickers on their card to Dave and Buster's in Times Square and raffling out some prizes for the rest of the kids.

It will cost us $25 per child to go to Dave and Busters. We would like to take as many kids as possible.

Would you prayerfully consider sponsoring one of our kids for this trip? You can easily donate towards the trip using our PayPal button in the right column (note that this is not a tax-deductible donation). If you choose to do so - please write us a quick email or message us on Facebook so we know what that money is for. We need to receive the money by June 15th so we know how many children we can pick.

I am so thrilled to see some of these kids come every week and grow in God despite their environment. Please keep praying for them.

This is why

It's been a tough week. We have learned about two violent crimes that our Sunday School kids were involved in. One happened earlier in the week in Sheepshead Bay (read story here). Another just yesterday in the Bronx (read story here). Both of these girls had attended Sunday School.

This is why we are here.

You are not guaranteed tomorrow - so make the most of today!

Welcome to Shrek's Swamp

Just a quick slideshow to share with you all the fun we had during Shrek week at our Sidewalk Sunday School sites:

Oceans of kids

There is a celebration happening at the Sweeney home!
A birthday? - NO
An anniversary? - NO
Promotion? - NO
Having a baby? - NO

We're celebrating because of the amazing things God is doing on our sidewalk team this year.
There is an weekly attendance goal set for every Sidewalk Sunday School team of 1000. In years past we have struggled to hit even 800 in attendance but this semester we have so far broken the 1000 threshold 3 the times! In fact our attendance has improved every single week this semester. Are you ready for our most recent number?


Are You?



Wait for it



can you guess?




Give up



1270

That's right 1270 children, teenagers, and adults heard the message of Jesus Christ this week.

But they're not just coming to Sidewalk Sunday School. Our attendance for Revolution (our youth service) has also been multiplying. Helen and I have had half a dozen young people ride the bus to Revolution every week. Also, due to a lack of drivers, one of our vans can no longer pick up for that service. We told the teens if they take the train there we will take them home. Thinking that was the end of those teenagers Revolution experience we have been pleased to see 4-6 teenagers show up at Revolution ON THEIR OWN.


We are extremely excited to see what other mighty things God has in store. Keep praying and stay tuned for updates.

When Mother's Day Is Difficult...

As Mother's Day approaches I honor women in my life who have become a mother figure to me, guiding me along the way. Some I was related to, others were bound to me by Christ's love.

Yet I know many women who have mixed feelings about Mother's Day. If you need a word of comfort and encouragement this Mother's Day - you can read this article by Holley here.

Free Rice

Check out this website. For every vocabulary word you guess the correct definition of, the site will donate 10 grains of rice to help fight hunger. If you get the definitions wrong, the words get easier. You can keep playing as long as you want.

www.freerice.com

Reading List

Books are the quietest and most constant of friends;

they are the most accessible and wisest of counselors,

and the most patient of teachers.

~Charles W. Eliot

I wanted to share some of my life with you this morning. Since I absolutely love reading, I figured there's no better way to do so but to share with you my reading list for the next few months.

What Jesus Demands from the World (by John Piper)

Startling Beauty (by Heather Gemmen)

Crazy Love (by Francis Chan)

Ordinary Resurrections (by Jonathan Kozol)

In the busyness of it all...

I have neglected keeping you updated - sorry. It's been a busy semester and I will try to do better from now on.


Here's what we've been up to:

Tomorrow marks the beginning of Week 3 of Sidewalk Sunday School spring semester 2010. We've had great first two weeks and I am blessed to have a great team.

Top row: Jason from USA, Janelle from Canada, Susi from Germany, Helen from Belarus

Bottom row: Bryan from USA, Patty from Mexico, Nadine from Germany

Jason and Nadine are our wonderful interns for these four months and so far they've done incredibly well. Feel free to lift them and the rest of my team up in your prayers as we minister to the kids in NYC.

The semester started off with a week of lessons on Easter. It rained for the first couple of days but it provided an amazing opportunity to teach children and their parents in a smaller group setting and really explain to them that Jesus died to open the way to God and He is alive today by the power of God who raised Him from the dead. We kept sharing that news with everyone even a little boy at McDonald's whose mom asked me to explain to them the meaning of Easter.

And even though my birthday is not until tomorrow - I had an incredible week celebrating my birthday with Sunday School kids. The kids made lots of cards and the team baked lots of cupcakes - and we all had fun. And today I had a great time just being with my friends - having our nails done and barbecuing outside. I am so grateful for my friends.

I have been very busy with ministry-related events... and even though I miss having lots of time in the mornings to have a longer devotional, enjoy my breakfast slowly and catching up on blogging and all my friends' blogs - the exhilaration that comes from seeing the smiles on the kids faces during the fun parts of our programs or the peace that comes upon them during our lessons is well worth it. Please know that even though we've been busy and failed to keep in touch - we are truly grateful for friends like you and we're still serving Him faithfully.

Summit VI

Just to throw it out there for all those involved in orphan care, adoption advocacy, etc. If you have not yet made plans to attend this event - prayerfully consider if you should.

To go to the Summit's web-page click here.

Invitation to Summit VI from Christian Alliance for Orphans on Vimeo.

Risk in Dreaming

Why is pursuing one's dreams always involves risk? Why can't my dreams be a natural progression of the course my life has already taken? Why do I have to give up, let go, change, move, start?

I am standing at the bridge with a torch in my hand. I know once I cross, there's no turning back. I am afraid for I do not know what exactly awaits me on the other side. My feet feel as if they were filled with lead. The first step so difficult, so unimaginable.

If I take that step - I am making a proclamation that what is here, on this side, is simply not enough for me. If I take that step - I leave all others behind in the comfort of their complacency. If I take that step - I shall be forced to walk alone.

What if I don't? What if I stay? I shall lose nothing by staying... or shall I?

I am standing at the bridge with a torch in my hand. I must decide.

Thoughts on Freedom

Do not be fooled. God will not set you free on your terms. He will not do it your way. He will not accept your conditions. He knows what is holding you captive and He is mighty enough to set you free. But you have to accept His way and His terms and His conditions. You have to surrender and accept the sovereignty and the greatness of God. Who do you think you are to dictate to God the way He needs to work in your life? God owes you nothing. He owes you nothing. He is under no obligation to give you anything. You already had complete freedom when you have come to Christ and you have turned away from it. Your insecurities, your unhappiness, your uncertainty, your pain, your nightmares, your loneliness, your fears, your hurt – all came because you believed the words of the Lucifer rather than the words of GOD. And now you’re running to others to wipe out your insecurities, to fill your loneliness, to calm your fears… they cannot and therefore will not help you. When you look into your heart deep enough – you do not want to be free. You are comfortable in your miserable existence. You love your excuses. God will not give you partial freedom. He will not take you out of prison to put you on a house arrest. He wants you to be free. Free from your insignificance. Free to serve Him and worship Him and live for Him daily. Free to love Him without restraint and fear. Only this way you will bring glory to His name – which is what you have been created for. As long as you are stubborn, as long as you are hidden, as long as you give God only partial access to your heart – nothing will happen. In His grace you will have temporary relief from your turmoil – but you will keep returning to your place of pain as the dog returns to its vomit.

You need to repent. Who are you to judge what is good for you? There’s only One who is good and He knows your needs. Run to Him. You need forgiveness for you tried to put yourself and your ideas of life on the throne that rightfully belongs to the Lord. He will not have it. Return to the fear of God. What you’re doing is dangerous. You’re playing with fire. For one day the Lord may look upon you and say, “OK then, have it your way” and your life will crumble. Seek His face while He is still to be found. Turn to Him before it’s too late. Beg Him to unveil His wonderful plan for your life – that no eye has seen, no ear has heard. Let Him be the Master and the Maker. Give Him the freedom to allow things into your life and to ban things out of your life. Do not dare take the reins back from Him.

James 4:7 “Therefore submit to God. Resist the devil and he will flee from you.” The devil will never flee from you – unless you resist him. And you can’t resist him successfully without the power of God. And you will not have the power of God unless you submit to Him. Therefore submit to God. No questions asked. No hidden agenda. Submit. That’s when freedom will come.

Where Is Home?

You can never go home again, 

but the truth is you can never leave home, 

so it's all right. 

~Maya Angelou

 

It's an interesting feeling coming to a place where you lived... no longer as a rightful owner - but as a guest.


I moved to New York 7.5 years ago... yet for a while my move was uncertain due to political and immigration issues between our countries.  I kept on living in New York waiting to see what would happen.  I married a wonderful man and by that finalized my move.

I've come to visit my family before and the room I had shared with my brother was kept the same.  Even last year Bryan & I stayed at my grandma's house which was just as I remembered leaving it in 2002. 

And now I am here again.  It's no secret to anyone that my brother is the only one occupying the room now.  My books have been packed away, my bed and my desk - taken apart and thrown out.  I get to sleep on a couch in the living room.  I am a guest now.  Family visiting from another place.  Oh what a strange feeling!

And yet - despite all changes to the decor - it all breathes memories... memories that won't (and shouldn't) be replaced.

It's so good to be home with my family in Minsk - and at the same time - with the same intensity of heart - I can't wait to be back home with my family in New York

Love of my life...

I love you, the love of my life

I need you, our love is right

I’ve found the one that my soul loves

No other love means so much

This song played at our wedding...

Today is Valentine's Day...

I am in love =)

I am in love with my husband...

yes I am!

He is a wonderful and caring man who makes me feel as if I were the most beautiful woman in the world.

I love him so much!

... but most importantly - I am in love with the One who created my husband...

He is the One who gave me hope when I felt hopeless.
He is the One who strengthened me when I could not go on.
He is the One who guided me when I was not sure where to go.

He is... LOVE OF MY LIFE... forever!

Though the mountains be shaken and the hills be removed,

yet my unfailing love for you will not be shaken

nor my covenant of peace be removed,"

says the LORD, who has compassion on you.

(Isaiah 54:10)